Five Years in the Making: The First Solo Trip
how an unfinished lab record turned out to be the greatest blessing of my life
Right after my first solo trip in 2022, I sat down to really think about all the events that led to it and I successfully traced it back to 2017.
In 2017, I was extremely disappointed with how my birthday turned out. Until then, my birthdays had always been filled with surprises from friends, cakes and going out to a restaurant. That year, this responsibility fell on my then situationship/ whatever that was. He asked me what I wanted to do and I said all I wanted was to spend time with him on that day (stupid and naive = me in college). We couldn’t because he had to work on the lab record that was due the next day. Now, while that was a perfectly reasonable excuse, the deadline had been announced a month in advance and he had chosen to start on it the day before. I was mad, first at him and then at myself for how my happiness on my birthday depended on someone I had known just for two years.
That’s when I decided that my next birthday was going to be extraordinary and it will only involve me - because if you’re the only person in the plan and you want yourself to have a great day, there’s a 100% guarantee that it will be great.
In 2018, I planned the following: Head to Pyramid Valley in the morning, visit the Lotus Temple in Kanakpura, come back to Sankey tank in the evening and then go home. My friend found out about this plan and was annoyed. We were 21 and back then, spending your birthday on your own was considered sad. We compromised - she would join me at Sankey in the evening and we would have cupcakes. Then my mom found out and got upset. “How can you spend your birthday on your own?? I will come with you. I won’t interfere with your plans, we’ll do whatever you want to but I’ll be with you.” After a lot of negotiations, we did exactly what she said xP
I decided 2019 was the year I would finally go on a solo trip. I planned a short one - 2D 1N to Gokarna and Murudeshwar. These were places that were just an overnight bus journey away from where I stay. Plus, I had started working that year, so with my newfound freedom, I thought I would obviously be “allowed” to go now. More negotiations happened - and my sister came with me :) Don’t get me wrong, it was a great trip and she was lovely; we met and hung out with fun strangers, ran from cops in the middle of the night because the beach had a curfew (??) and were singing happy birthday to everyone awake and about on the streets. But I still wasn’t on my own.
2020 and 2021 were covid years - I’ll cut myself some slack for not accomplishing my mission.
2022 was the year. This time, I didn’t care who said what. I don’t know where I got the courage from, but I’m so glad I did and was resolute on spending this birthday on my own. I planned it well. I told my mom and dad that my friend (the Sankey one) and I were going to go on a trip. Then I said she cancelled last minute. My dad kept asking my sister to talk me out of it (because he doesn’t like confrontation but still needs to get the job done). My sister was on Team Pooja so he didn’t get very far with that xP
Planning the trip (and all the players involved)
I had three places in mind: Bhutan, Gangtok and Dharamshala. I settled on Gangtok, which is the least accessible of the three. The Bagdogra airport was shut down for maintenance. My brother in law suggested that I take the train to New Jalpaiguri and go to Gangtok from there and so, the onward journey was finalised.
✈️ Bangalore → Guwahati (flight: 2 hours)
🚆 Guwahati → New Jalpaiguri (train: 7 hours)
🚌 New Jalpaiguri → Gangtok (bus: 4 hours)
This is clearly a terrible plan, especially for a first solo trip, but my decision making skills were limited to - I will do whatever it takes to go, even if it means spending two days travelling but I WILL go.
I planned a four day trip but here’s the catch - the Bagdogra airport wouldn’t reopen by then. It was scheduled to open three days after my intended return date.
This meant that I had only one viable option: postpone my trip which would mean that I would miss spending my birthday in Gangtok. There was obviously one more option that I was hesitant to consider - go on the day planned and extend the trip until the airport reopened. This was a terrifying option since that would mean being by myself for 7 days, 2600km away, for the first time. Until then, the farthest north I had travelled was Mumbai (for work), which isn’t even in North India. This option felt risky.
But then-serendipity.
My brother-in-law’s friend came home just as I was booking my tickets. I told him about my plan and he asked if I can work from home. I said I can. “So why not just take your laptop and go to Gangtok? Stay there until the airport opens up? Isn’t that the best plan?”
I think I needed someone to suggest this terrifying option instead of it coming just from me. I immediately went and sat next to my sister (for moral support) and booked all the flight and train tickets, following the exact itinerary he had suggested. No questions asked. (Thanks Dhinesh! xP)
This trip was a turning point. It was my canon event. A domino effect that pretty much changed everything - who I’ve become and how my life has unfolded since.
But this post is long enough so I’ll end it here.
Congratulations on your achievement, would also like to read how this experience changed you as a person which you mentioned in this post, hopefully you'll write about this in future 🙂
Profound how travel opens the door to autonomy, exploration, and confidence, especially for women. Can't wait for more!